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Patrick
Sleepless Sonneteer


Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 1232
Location: Arkansas, USA

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:59 pm
Post subject: why people suck
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Since LJ appears to be down, and my LJ has been acting funny anyway, I'm going to just post this here.

My girlfriend is 55. I am 29. Deal with it. We don't care about the age difference and the fact that anyone else does pisses me off. I'm not some teenager and neither one of us is out for the other's money (hah), so why should anyone care? Why can't people just be happy for us? We're both adults who've lived far long enough to make decisions on our own without being second-guessed as if we were stupid, inexperienced children in need of guidance.

I met some of her family last night. Apparently, they didn't like me. Now, whether it was the age difference, or me, or both, I don't know, and I don't care. I think I happen to be a nice guy and I'll be damned if I am going to let people's old-fashioned prejudices and snap judgments affect me. You met me for all of an hour and a half, and that is a basis on which to judge me as unworthy, to deem our relationship inappropriate? You don't even know me. What, did I stagger out into the living room drunk and unkempt, drooling and swearing and generally acting like a Stone Age reject? Her late husband was a hard-drinking, emotionally abusive, controlling piece of you know what, and you accepted him, but you reject me out of hand on the basis of an age difference? What the hell kind of screwed-up priorities are in play here, folks?

Yeah, well, frak you all, Penny's family. If you don't like me, and you don't approve of our relationship, you can go to hell. I've been through way too damn much in this world to let the ill-formed and ignorant opinions of others run rampant. My own family thinks it's weird, too, except for a few of my cousins, and they can go to hell, too. I've always been weird. The first time I actually enter into a relationship that wasn't online, one that feels so different from any other, in a way I cannot readily explain, and what do I get? Disapproval on one side and weirded-out-ness on the other.

I'm just damned if I do and damned if I don't in everything, aren't I?
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On a mountain of skulls in a castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood. What was will be, what is will be no more. Now is the season of evil!
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Hachiko
Thread Killer


Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 255

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:49 pm
Post subject: Re: why people suck
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Patrick wrote:

I'm just damned if I do and damned if I don't in everything, aren't I?


Not if she still loves you you're not.

At first, my in-laws hated me. Hated that I was American, white, and fat. In what order, I don't know.
Now my father-in-law likes me. He sees how hard I try in life, and how loving a husband and father I am. As for my mother-in-law, she's a c*nt and will always be til she draws her last breath.
'Tis life my friend. It's good to vent sometimes though.
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QueenB



Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:04 pm
Post subject: That's their problem!
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Hi Patrick,
If other people have an issue with this, it's their problem not yours! Both of you are far from being children, so they need to suck it up! If you've been lucky enough to find someone who truly makes you happy, good on you! Women are like wine (they get better with age!) or at least that's what I tell myself! I hope things get easier because being judged harshly when you're doing nothing wrong isn't easy. However, if at the end of the day you can look yourself in the face and know you're doing the right thing, that's all that matters in my book.
B
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TamAlthor
The Zeppo


Joined: 09 Nov 2006
Posts: 713
Location: Alberta Canada

PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:35 pm
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As open minded as I would like to think that I am, I have to admit that if my brother came in with a lady that much older than him I would prolly do a double take. At the same time I always keep in mind that I love my wife and she loves me and neither of us have ever been happier. So if she makes you happy than I am happy for you both.

If I had to wager a guess I would assume that most of these ‘family/friends’ who are being so judgmental and rude are most likely fairly miserable and have nothing better to do that gossip and put down your happiness. I mean if they were really happy in their relationships they would recognize that same happiness between you and your lady. That is how it was for me and my wife. All her Bothers and sister saw was that I was unemployed, had no education, and that I seemed rude and made them feel awkward (I do admit I am somewhat obnoxious, but mostly it is that I speak my mind and very easily find the humor in most situations). Anyway the one brother has warmed to me, and the other brother and the sister are indifferent. The indifferent ones though are in relationships that seem shallow and lonely to me and I could give a fig as to their opinion of what our marriage should be like.

That whole thing about being damned if you do and damned if you don’t. That is just it. People suck, People who are the worst at handling their money always give unsolicited financial advice, Those who are not happy in their own life will butt in tell you how to live yours. Anyone who is truly happy had to figure it out for themselves and in most cases will let other do the same. Just keep on trucking man. It is at times like this you get to know who your real friends and family are. It is like I keep saying, we are living in a time more than ever where we can chose who are families are. Life is short and I don’t have time for people who are ridiculous, repressed, overbearing, and unhappy all by their own creation and then try to steer my life down that same path. No thank you.

Live you Life man. You prolly fought hard for your independence, you prolly had to fight hard to find your own happiness, Be damned if you let some small minded people take it from you!

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"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply..unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments..we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers
-M. S. Peck
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Rhodric
Lord of the Morning


Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 1659
Location: Shanaine, Manetheren

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:54 pm
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Pat, you're so badass. I was just picturing you blasting these relatives A-team MR T style. Pity da foo, man pity da foo.

Someday you'll have to introduce me to this lovely lady.


-rhodric
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Patrick
Sleepless Sonneteer


Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 1232
Location: Arkansas, USA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:54 pm
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If you stop yo' jibba jabba, I just might.
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Rhodric
Lord of the Morning


Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 1659
Location: Shanaine, Manetheren

PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 12:00 am
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*snioicker* Get that dsl up son, i miss joo!
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Patrick
Sleepless Sonneteer


Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 1232
Location: Arkansas, USA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:03 pm
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It's up, baby. I always get it up for you.
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julie
Wicked Wisdom


Joined: 04 Nov 2006
Posts: 1008
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:02 pm
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*snort*
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TamAlthor
The Zeppo


Joined: 09 Nov 2006
Posts: 713
Location: Alberta Canada

PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 10:27 am
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TamAlthor wrote:
I have to admit that if my brother came in with a lady that much older than him I would prolly do a double take.


Yea so my littlest brother (18) is dating a 32 year old now. I totally forgot to knock on wood. Anyhoo, they seem to be getting on quite well. I can't wait for mom to meet her though, I want to get ring side tickets for that one.
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"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply..unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments..we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers
-M. S. Peck
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LunaRaven



Joined: 30 Jun 2008
Posts: 925
Location: Neverland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:21 pm
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I don't have any experience with human relationships(though I have played matchmaker with a few pricklpusses), but I am experienced when it comes to people dissaproving of my personality and mannerisms because they're far above what's considered 'normal'. In my life, I live by a few thoughts, one of which being that I don't let the opinions of people I don't respect affect me. If her parents don't like you becuase you're wierd, too young, or maybe just redonkulous foo fooey on them. Make them a baloon animal and pop it in their faces! Find out when there birthdays are and give them wierd presents! If they keep giving you trouble, let me know. I know some Ravens in your area that owe me some favors. ):3
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Skarla



Joined: 08 Jun 2008
Posts: 260
Location: Portsmouth, UK

PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:40 am
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Hope things have smoothed out a little since the last post. I get a lot of raised eyebrows and looks because my parter is three years younger than me, it must grow exponentially with every year. Three years isn't a lot I know, but I'm 20 and he's 17 - some socializing problems there when my friends invite me clubbing! I generally don't mention it, as he looks older than he is and generally people don't notice (which is nice) until he has to go outside the shop when we're buying alcohol or has to decline a visit to the pub. Then I can just see people re-evaluating, which pisses me off. There is also added judging because he is not in University, and I am, so I sympathise, Tam.

However, my close friends are able to ignore that and that's what counts. In times of non-conventionality you get to see how prejudiced some people are and pick who you spend time with accordingly.
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Knowledge is power and power corrupts. Study hard: be evil!
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Akaea



Joined: 15 Feb 2009
Posts: 2
Location: Denmark

PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:06 pm
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My ex is 14 years older than I, I was 20 and he 34 when we were together.
I knew that his sister didn't particularly like me, I think it was the age difference, but never said anything... well she hardly ever said anything to me. Haha
My sister was not too happy about it either, but I was happy and that was what mattered. But now a few years later, she's the one with an older boyfriend, I believe 16 years, and the funny thing is he's just a few years younger than our mother.

To me the hardest thing about dating my ex, was that my friends thought it was strange, they accepted, but there was this awkwardness everytime we were together with them.

I don't understand the narrowminded people, what's wrong with a little age difference or interracial dating? Love is love, there's no white love, black love, red-, yellow or purple love. Likewise there's no 20-29 love, 30-39 ect. There might be a difference in the expression of that love... I doubt that 90 year olds are just as physical as 20 year olds.
I'm staring to rant, you get the point.
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Ra'ena



Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Posts: 17
Location: The Netherlands, Noord-Brabant

PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:33 am
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I think I can understand part of the akwardness. I have a fairly big family and when I talk to my older cousins it is sometimes difficult to make a real conversation. I'm in college, single, living on my own. They are working, getting married, having their first kids. It's not that you don't want to talk, it is just far more difficult to find common interests.
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Fantasy Guy



Joined: 05 Jun 2009
Posts: 12
Location: California

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:03 am
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Patrick, I wish you the very best in your relationship. Your comment on their family excepting an abusive spouse previously really struck a chord with me because I have seen the same type of thing within my circles and it makes no sense. People really are stupid, as my great grandma used to say "it takes all kinds to make a world."

~John
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Dudde
The Monster at the end of this Post


Joined: 26 Nov 2008
Posts: 921
Location: Oklahoma!

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:57 am
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Quote:
Love is love, there's no white love, black love, red-, yellow or purple love. Likewise there's no 20-29 love, 30-39 ect.


actually mine is purple love...just sayin.

also,
Quote:
as my great grandma used to say "it takes all kinds to make a world."

Quote:
Your comment on their family excepting an abusive spouse


Great grandma's are awesome and I love 'em, but it simply doesn't take this kind to make a world =D
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Jaleely



Joined: 05 Feb 2007
Posts: 38

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:46 am
Post subject: Goodness..
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I've been out of touch for a while. I always am, it seems! But to the point...i think it's wonderful you've found someone to love! *hugs*
and of course, they're fine in my book as long as they treat you right and how you deserve (which is like a prince!)
So, other than that, age is nothing. The only people you should worry about is of course, you and her. You're not on this planet to make everyone else happy, you're here to make a life for you and for taht special someone! so Nyah! to all the others!
I know i wasn't what kevin's parents wanted, for various reasons, and i know that he wasn't want my parents wanted for me. But, we just flat out said, we're happy together and you should be happy for us, because we're happy. and kind of left it at that, and eventually they all just got over it and saw that we were happy, so that then, made them happy! or at least willing to deal with it ; )

Anyway, the point is, it may be annoying, but always be polite and just be who you are, and they'll eventually see what a great person you and how happy you make each other, and they'll get over any issues. in the meantime, continue to rant online and don't show them *lol* at least you'll feel better! *g*
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victrix



Joined: 10 Jun 2009
Posts: 35
Location: Yorkshire, England

PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 7:23 am
Post subject: More age difference here.
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There's 11 years between my wife and I. She was only 20 when we met and I was 31. And now 6 years down the line we're married and happy and expecting a kid next year, so to hell with convention and go with your gut is what I say!
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GanZ



Joined: 15 Apr 2009
Posts: 20
Location: Liverpool/Middlesbrough

PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:37 am
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Bugger them all but not literally of course.
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Alle
The First Evil


Joined: 04 Nov 2006
Posts: 1885
Location: Hawaii

PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:43 pm
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Our society deems it okay for an older man to be with much younger women, but it is 'shocking' when its an older woman with a much younger guy. As long as you and she are happy, try not to let it bother you. Much easier said then done. I know this is an older post, and I hope you have had a smoother time of things since then Pat. You have certainly had a lot of changes in your life since you first posted this! *s*
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