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The Three Musketeers

 
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ThrillKillBill



Joined: 22 Oct 2009
Posts: 484
Location: Springfield, Mo

PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 9:54 pm
Post subject: The Three Musketeers
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I just watched the new one and can say this... complete and utter rubbish. Dull, lifeless characters. Speaking in monotone or showing less feelings then Kristen Stewart. Storyline borrows heavy from The Musketeer but leaves massive plot-holes throughout. It really did not even feel like a musketeer style movie but instead some kind of Assassin's Creed in Paris hybrid. Unbelievable weapons, gear and airships... and when I say unbelievable, imagine the worst possible meaning of that. At one point they were fighting with what can only be described as a gatling-cannon. It is my thought that they could not have made this flick any worse if they tried, even if they had cast Jack Black as Porthos, Zach Galifianakis as Aramas, Adam Sandler as Athos, and Tom Green as D'Artagnan.

Utter and complete rubbish.
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Jade
Seven of Jade


Joined: 05 Nov 2006
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Location: Santa Barbara, CA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:27 am
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Yeah, watched some of it on an airplane. Lay down and fell asleep instead. I mean, the last one in the 90s was better than this, right?

I was a kid when that one came out, so I don't have an accurate memory *lol* But still, it couldn't have been this bad?

Jade

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Xinpheld
Bird Man of Alka-Seltzer


Joined: 24 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:53 am
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There were actually two Musketeer movies that came out in the 90s. There was the Disney one with Charlie Sheen, Keiffer Southerland and Oliver Platt, which was campy but fun, and Tim Curry was the badguy, so that tells you something. The other was The Man in the Iron Mask, which had Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, Gérard Depardieu and Gabirel Byrne as the (four) three and Leo DiCaprio as King Louis XIV. Much better and much more serious movie.
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ThrillKillBill



Joined: 22 Oct 2009
Posts: 484
Location: Springfield, Mo

PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:16 pm
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There was also Ring of the Musketeers with David Hasselhoff as John Smith D'Artagnan, Thomas Gottschalk as Peter Porthos, Cheech Marin as Burt Aramis, Alison Doody as Ann-Marie Athos ... but one can argue that it wasn't a true musketeer movie. And I could never convince myself to actually watch it *weg*

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110992/
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Ya born alone
Ya die alone
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Tomorrow is a vision
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Tomorrow is a vision
But today
it's a b*tch
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